Yesterday my pastor preached about slowing down and sitting at the feet of Jesus. Boy, did I feel totally convicted! (I think he was picking on me!) I had major surgery 2 1/2 weeks ago, and I have not been very good at sitting still. Everyone says,"Enjoy this time. Make people wait on you!" but I guess I'm just not wired that way. I am a "worker-bee" and I really don't feel good about resting quite so much, but God sure has spoken to me during this time.
God expects us, like Mary (as opposed to Martha), to sit at the feet of Jesus, a place of learning and worship. He expects us to put Him ahead of everything . . . even cleaning the kitchen! Don't get me wrong: I don't love cleaning the kitchen, but I'll admit that I love being able to look at it when it's clean . . .walk through it without getting my feet dirty . . . see an empty sink. Too often I let my "to-do" list control me and my day . . . I love my "to-do" list . . . anybody relate? I adore checking things off the list when I've completed them, and to completely finish an entire list? That's the stuff of which dreams are made! Okay . .. . here comes the big admission: if I do something that isn't on my list, I add it to the list just so I can check it off. Sick, I know, but here's the thing. I was raised in a world that promoted the Superwoman syndrome, and I bought that lie lock, stock, and barrel. I still struggle with it, and I want to do everything and do it well, but guess what, girls? Not possible. I can do a lot, but not everything, and usually, when I try to do too much, things are rarely well done.
So what have I learned during this recovery period (that isn't over, BTW)? The world doesn't end if I sit still. Really, it doesn't. My house has not crashed down around me, and nobody has stopped being my friend just because my vacuum hasn't been out of the closet in two weeks. My children still seem to like being here, even though my bed isn't made and the laundry has been in the basket for days on end. And do you know what else? When I put God ahead of those things . . reading His Word, sitting in His presence, talking to Him without stopping to wash the dishes, I find Him there waiting for me. He listens to me, changes my day in ways only He can, and blesses my life. He is so very good to us, and I, for one, let "the list" get in the way of the relationship from time to time, but guess what? He has forgiven me . . . repeatedly . . . He loves me, and He's still waiting on me today. So when I finish this blog, guess what? I'm going to sit in His presence and enjoy the fact that I can. I'll say a prayer for all of us . . . the over-achievers of the world who struggle to let things go and just let God be in charge. No other idols before me . . . not even the laundry!
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