Well, I can't believe how time has passed, but today I have been married to my man for 21 years! It seems like yesterday that we put our "Brady bunch" family together, had an "ours" baby, survived the teen years . . . and now, almost an empty nest. My, how things have changed.
Well, since it's my anniversary, this will be short and to the point. I have some marriage advice to share . . . not that I have all of the answers, but I have learned some things over the last 21 years. 1) Be kind when you don't feel like it. It's amazing how kindness disarms people . . . even your spouse! 2) Never give yourself an "out": in other words, don't say to your spouse or yourself, "Well, if we can't work this out, I guess we'll just call it quits." Ask yourself instead, "What part can I play in making this situation better or solving this problem?" Now, I'm not talking about tolerating abuse . . . that's a different story, and I'm grateful to say that I haven't dealt with that one. I'm just talking about normal, marital difficulties. 3) If you have children, set aside time with your spouse . . . "date night," if you will. Children who watch their parents enjoying and loving each other will not suffer from the time you take to be together. They will be blessed, and they will learn how to be a partner. 4) Finally . . . there are a million more but I need to cook an anniversary dinner . . . be a praying spouse. There is nothing . . . not one single thing . . . that you can do that has more power than prayer. I pray for my husband, thanking God for him and praying for strength for our marriage. I pray for problems to be solved. I pray for our time together to have value. Pray for your spouse and with your spouse . . . and when God is invited into the union, things will be very good!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Way Too Fascinated
Okay, I might be getting ready to step on toes this morning, but I'm at the end of my rope with what TV calls "news." I've been home a lot lately . . . hysterectomy and lots of rest . . . and I've had an "a-ha" moment: the news anchors and gossip channels obsess about the same things day after day, hour after hour, but they wouldn't do that if the American public didn't crave private information about people's lives. Need proof? I promise you I can share.
This morning, as I'm waiting for my favorite TV pastor to come on, I flipped to a morning news show, and what are they discussing? The Clinton wedding. They are following that poor girl into her gown fittings, following mom into clothing stores, and strategizing about how they are going to get the first picture of Chelsea coming down the aisle after her vows. Seriously? Did these people not get that they ARE NOT INVITED? It seems that in this country, we have totally lost our minds when it comes to minding other people's business. Remember the Britany Spears fiasco? I felt so sorry for her. She was a young mom, making mistakes as all of have done, but the whole world was watching and criticizing. Could I have handled that? I think not. Then think about Mel Gibson. Now I know that He supposedly has done some things that absolutely stomp on our sensibilities, but again, is their business our business? Have you ever done anything in your marriage or relationships that you really wouldn't want to become public knowledge? I sure have, but their problems have become a public frenzy, and again, it makes me sad.
But here's the gigantic "a-ha" that is looming in my mind this morning: if we, as a people, would choose to be as obsessed with our God as we seem to be with public figures, think how we could change the world. God says clearly that if His people, who are called by His name, would pray, then He would heal our land, and I think we sure could use some healing today. He also says that we are to love others the way we love ourselves. What incredible things we could accomplish for His kingdom if we took that command seriously, being totally in love with God and then daily transferring that love to the people with whom we come in contact! My goodness, if every Christian took this to heart and did it, our spheres of influence would start to look and feel different. But . . . for that to happen, we have to take our eyes off things that aren't our business, things that don't matter eternally, and focus our eyes on the One and Only: God.
So my prayer today? Let me keep my eyes on the places where God would have me focus. Let me seek Him first, love myself because He loves me, and then love others with a passion. Sounds like a good day to me.
This morning, as I'm waiting for my favorite TV pastor to come on, I flipped to a morning news show, and what are they discussing? The Clinton wedding. They are following that poor girl into her gown fittings, following mom into clothing stores, and strategizing about how they are going to get the first picture of Chelsea coming down the aisle after her vows. Seriously? Did these people not get that they ARE NOT INVITED? It seems that in this country, we have totally lost our minds when it comes to minding other people's business. Remember the Britany Spears fiasco? I felt so sorry for her. She was a young mom, making mistakes as all of have done, but the whole world was watching and criticizing. Could I have handled that? I think not. Then think about Mel Gibson. Now I know that He supposedly has done some things that absolutely stomp on our sensibilities, but again, is their business our business? Have you ever done anything in your marriage or relationships that you really wouldn't want to become public knowledge? I sure have, but their problems have become a public frenzy, and again, it makes me sad.
But here's the gigantic "a-ha" that is looming in my mind this morning: if we, as a people, would choose to be as obsessed with our God as we seem to be with public figures, think how we could change the world. God says clearly that if His people, who are called by His name, would pray, then He would heal our land, and I think we sure could use some healing today. He also says that we are to love others the way we love ourselves. What incredible things we could accomplish for His kingdom if we took that command seriously, being totally in love with God and then daily transferring that love to the people with whom we come in contact! My goodness, if every Christian took this to heart and did it, our spheres of influence would start to look and feel different. But . . . for that to happen, we have to take our eyes off things that aren't our business, things that don't matter eternally, and focus our eyes on the One and Only: God.
So my prayer today? Let me keep my eyes on the places where God would have me focus. Let me seek Him first, love myself because He loves me, and then love others with a passion. Sounds like a good day to me.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
I Think I'm a Slow Learner
I have decided, after doing some reading today, that I am a very slow learner. I never thought of myself like that, but I've changed my mind, and the proof is in my journals. Since March of 2006, I have been writing in a journal. I started out just writing scriptures because Joyce Meyer said that we all need to write down scriptures in "longhand" in order to truly internalize them. I believed her, and nine journals later, I'm still going. It has changed my life and changed my faith journey, and I am glad that I listened to her advice and challenge and took it to heart. So what does this have to do with my learning curve? Well . . .
I have been preparing for a women's retreat. This is a first for our very small church, and I'm excited to say that we will have around 12 women participating in an overnight SOW experience . . . Sisters of Worship, that is. As I began to prepare, I remembered some notes I once took when listening to Beth Moore on TV, notes that would help me as I led a portion of our study. So yesterday I began digging back through my journals from the last year, trying desperately to find those notes. This morning I started looking again, and there it was . . . May 2009 (I have a pretty good memory when something hits close to home!). Well, the notes are exactly what I needed, but what I noticed while while searching was my "a-ha" moment: over and over and over I've written some of the same lessons -- lessons from devotionals, lessons from sermons, lessons from TV pastors, and conferences, and Sunday School lessons. Over and over I saw a pattern of Biblical teachings, and so today I'm asking myself a question: why in the world did I not get the lesson the very first time I heard it? Why didn't I say to myself, "Wow, that's important, and I'm sure glad I won't have to deal with that one again,"? But I didn't. It's the nature of our humanity, and I'm just glad that God kept sending the same messages until I got them!
Just last week, Satan tried very hard to bother me, attacking in the same spot in which he loves to attack when I'm vulnerable, which is the middle of the night. He loves to send me into a time of worry, and I've really worked hard to learn that worry is useless, and I don't have to worry when I trust God. So that night, I got up, went to my latest journal, read something I had written the day before about not giving away my confidence, and I prayed. After that intense time (at 1:25 A.M., BTW), I was able to trust God and sleep. Well, when I looked back through those five journals this week, guess what lesson I saw repeatedly? Don't cast away your confidence. Well, duh! When I wrote that lesson last week and journaled accompanying scriptures, I would have bet the farm that it was the first time I had written those verses in this context, but NO. Not so. So now, the question is this: do I beat myself up for being a slow learner, or do I praise God wildly for being so patient and willing to send me His Word at the right time for the right situation? Well, I might be slow, but I do know the answer to that one, and I am surely praising God!
I have been preparing for a women's retreat. This is a first for our very small church, and I'm excited to say that we will have around 12 women participating in an overnight SOW experience . . . Sisters of Worship, that is. As I began to prepare, I remembered some notes I once took when listening to Beth Moore on TV, notes that would help me as I led a portion of our study. So yesterday I began digging back through my journals from the last year, trying desperately to find those notes. This morning I started looking again, and there it was . . . May 2009 (I have a pretty good memory when something hits close to home!). Well, the notes are exactly what I needed, but what I noticed while while searching was my "a-ha" moment: over and over and over I've written some of the same lessons -- lessons from devotionals, lessons from sermons, lessons from TV pastors, and conferences, and Sunday School lessons. Over and over I saw a pattern of Biblical teachings, and so today I'm asking myself a question: why in the world did I not get the lesson the very first time I heard it? Why didn't I say to myself, "Wow, that's important, and I'm sure glad I won't have to deal with that one again,"? But I didn't. It's the nature of our humanity, and I'm just glad that God kept sending the same messages until I got them!
Just last week, Satan tried very hard to bother me, attacking in the same spot in which he loves to attack when I'm vulnerable, which is the middle of the night. He loves to send me into a time of worry, and I've really worked hard to learn that worry is useless, and I don't have to worry when I trust God. So that night, I got up, went to my latest journal, read something I had written the day before about not giving away my confidence, and I prayed. After that intense time (at 1:25 A.M., BTW), I was able to trust God and sleep. Well, when I looked back through those five journals this week, guess what lesson I saw repeatedly? Don't cast away your confidence. Well, duh! When I wrote that lesson last week and journaled accompanying scriptures, I would have bet the farm that it was the first time I had written those verses in this context, but NO. Not so. So now, the question is this: do I beat myself up for being a slow learner, or do I praise God wildly for being so patient and willing to send me His Word at the right time for the right situation? Well, I might be slow, but I do know the answer to that one, and I am surely praising God!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Slow Days . . . Not My Style!
Yesterday my pastor preached about slowing down and sitting at the feet of Jesus. Boy, did I feel totally convicted! (I think he was picking on me!) I had major surgery 2 1/2 weeks ago, and I have not been very good at sitting still. Everyone says,"Enjoy this time. Make people wait on you!" but I guess I'm just not wired that way. I am a "worker-bee" and I really don't feel good about resting quite so much, but God sure has spoken to me during this time.
God expects us, like Mary (as opposed to Martha), to sit at the feet of Jesus, a place of learning and worship. He expects us to put Him ahead of everything . . . even cleaning the kitchen! Don't get me wrong: I don't love cleaning the kitchen, but I'll admit that I love being able to look at it when it's clean . . .walk through it without getting my feet dirty . . . see an empty sink. Too often I let my "to-do" list control me and my day . . . I love my "to-do" list . . . anybody relate? I adore checking things off the list when I've completed them, and to completely finish an entire list? That's the stuff of which dreams are made! Okay . .. . here comes the big admission: if I do something that isn't on my list, I add it to the list just so I can check it off. Sick, I know, but here's the thing. I was raised in a world that promoted the Superwoman syndrome, and I bought that lie lock, stock, and barrel. I still struggle with it, and I want to do everything and do it well, but guess what, girls? Not possible. I can do a lot, but not everything, and usually, when I try to do too much, things are rarely well done.
So what have I learned during this recovery period (that isn't over, BTW)? The world doesn't end if I sit still. Really, it doesn't. My house has not crashed down around me, and nobody has stopped being my friend just because my vacuum hasn't been out of the closet in two weeks. My children still seem to like being here, even though my bed isn't made and the laundry has been in the basket for days on end. And do you know what else? When I put God ahead of those things . . reading His Word, sitting in His presence, talking to Him without stopping to wash the dishes, I find Him there waiting for me. He listens to me, changes my day in ways only He can, and blesses my life. He is so very good to us, and I, for one, let "the list" get in the way of the relationship from time to time, but guess what? He has forgiven me . . . repeatedly . . . He loves me, and He's still waiting on me today. So when I finish this blog, guess what? I'm going to sit in His presence and enjoy the fact that I can. I'll say a prayer for all of us . . . the over-achievers of the world who struggle to let things go and just let God be in charge. No other idols before me . . . not even the laundry!
God expects us, like Mary (as opposed to Martha), to sit at the feet of Jesus, a place of learning and worship. He expects us to put Him ahead of everything . . . even cleaning the kitchen! Don't get me wrong: I don't love cleaning the kitchen, but I'll admit that I love being able to look at it when it's clean . . .walk through it without getting my feet dirty . . . see an empty sink. Too often I let my "to-do" list control me and my day . . . I love my "to-do" list . . . anybody relate? I adore checking things off the list when I've completed them, and to completely finish an entire list? That's the stuff of which dreams are made! Okay . .. . here comes the big admission: if I do something that isn't on my list, I add it to the list just so I can check it off. Sick, I know, but here's the thing. I was raised in a world that promoted the Superwoman syndrome, and I bought that lie lock, stock, and barrel. I still struggle with it, and I want to do everything and do it well, but guess what, girls? Not possible. I can do a lot, but not everything, and usually, when I try to do too much, things are rarely well done.
So what have I learned during this recovery period (that isn't over, BTW)? The world doesn't end if I sit still. Really, it doesn't. My house has not crashed down around me, and nobody has stopped being my friend just because my vacuum hasn't been out of the closet in two weeks. My children still seem to like being here, even though my bed isn't made and the laundry has been in the basket for days on end. And do you know what else? When I put God ahead of those things . . reading His Word, sitting in His presence, talking to Him without stopping to wash the dishes, I find Him there waiting for me. He listens to me, changes my day in ways only He can, and blesses my life. He is so very good to us, and I, for one, let "the list" get in the way of the relationship from time to time, but guess what? He has forgiven me . . . repeatedly . . . He loves me, and He's still waiting on me today. So when I finish this blog, guess what? I'm going to sit in His presence and enjoy the fact that I can. I'll say a prayer for all of us . . . the over-achievers of the world who struggle to let things go and just let God be in charge. No other idols before me . . . not even the laundry!
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