Once I again, I think a commercial writer got things right: "Life comes at you fast." My only revision? Really, really fast, and sometimes it takes your breath away. Last night my precious granddaughter, Lily Grace, had an episode that will be one of those unanswered questions: she stopped breathing for about twenty seconds. Afterwards, she clearly was not herself, but neither was anybody else, so maybe her reaction was one of fear at what happened and shock at how it made normally sane people behave. In my daughter's defense, let me say that she is one of the calmest young mothers I have ever seen. When Lily screams, she responds with a gentle voice. When Lily is cranky, she responds with words of love. So last night was new for all of us, but not breathing is kind of a big thing, don't you think? Anyway, after a night at the hospital, IVs, oxygen monitors, and tests, we think she'll be coming home today. What happened? Not sure but it's probably just one of those things we'll never completely understand, but this morning, there are some other things I understand completely.
I know for sure that as I talked with God on the way to the hospital last night, He was there. I know for sure that as my daughter prayed for Him to take care of Lily Grace, He did. I know for sure, that life is sacred and precious, and my tears this morning are not about sorrow: they're about life and thanksgiving. Months ago I began telling Lily that she is a gift from God . . . that He formed her in the womb . . . that He knew her and planned for her even before she was born. I have quoted scripture over her precious spirit as I've held her in my arms (as I have done with my other grandchildren) and I have spoken blessings into her life. This morning as I ponder the vastness of God and the interactions of my family at the hospital last night, I once again stand in awe of Him and every single gift He has given us.
I thank Him today for his mercy. I thank Him for Dr. Steve Corontzes, who has been "doctoring" my family for over twenty years, and for the awesome staff of Conway Hospital: they were incredible, calm, informative, and respectful. I thank Him for my loving daughter Meredith who stood by their side with us last night, and for my other children who lived on the telephones, receiving updates and doing what wonderful sisters and brothers do: being in the game when the game gets tough. I thank Him for my husband who gave up on homemade chicken pot pie and instead, brought us cheap burgers at a time of night when nobody should be eating anything, especially cheap burgers. I thank Him for extended family and amazing Christian friends who offered to come and dropped to their knees in prayer, the most powerful gift of all. I thank Him that for growing me into a daughter who can trust Him in moments like these and who can see threads of his tapestry weaving through our lives. I thank Him for tears because through them this morning, I can truly see the face of God.
Now, on another note, I'm apologizing for letting my blog go untouched for such a long time. I have let school . . . as usual . . . overwhelm me, and I have slipped away from something I love: writing. Anyway, this morning I felt God's nudge to share. He wrapped me in his grace long before I knew it, and He continues to show us His hand every day. I am one seriously tired, but truly thankful grandmother this morning, but I need to say this: don't ever stop being amazed by God's goodness and His mercy. His hand is in everything, even when life comes at us fast, and He is with me and Lily Grace and all of us this morning, even as I bow my head in reverence.
Love to all,
Jean
